Discussion Questions for Handle with Care (by Lore Wilbert)
2 min readAug 31, 2021
- When you hear the word touch, what comes to mind?
- Our stories inform how we view, use, and receive touch from others. Has there been significant moments of touch, positive or negative, in your past?
- Wilbert talks about churches who are not exactly sure how to care for each other because some churches are very non-touchy, trying to avoid all appearance of evil and presuming everyone has evil motives. But other churches have not been careful enough, leading to #metoo moments or awkward, forced touching. What does healthy touching in a church context look like? Or, what positive moments of touch can you recall from church friends or in a church context?
- From pg. 63, “always dos or never dos. But none of this takes into the variety of stories the people of God carry with them — no two stories are alike, no two people are alike, therefore no two touches are alike… this makes it an infinitely complicated issue. How do we discern what is good touch and what isn’t? What are we looking for?
- How would you define Wilbert’s idea of self-care or self-touch? What does she mean by that? How do we balance between biblical commands to “deny” and biblical commands to “care?”
- What is it like to be single when it comes to touch? (Share, remember or speculate).
- From pg. 141 — “Anytime you make a rule, you have to think about what’s lost, and what’s lost when touch is forbidden is important.” How should we navigate cross-gender friendships and romantic relationships when it comes to touch? Do we create extra-biblical rules?
- From pg. 163 — unless we learn at some point that sex-and all sexual touch between couples — is dissatisfying in lihgt of eternity, we will always be playing the short game. How does Wilbert upend the normal “rules” for Christian dating? What do you think of her approach?
- What do you remember from how your parents touched you? What impression did that make on you?
- What else stood out to you about this book? Any other favourite quotes or passages?
